Thursday, March 24, 2011

playing chicken

     Today I would like to take a moment to explain a lovely bit of parenting that I have dubbed playing Baby Chicken. 

     This is a game that no matter how many babies you may have, you will never be able to win 100% of the time.  Heck, you'll be lucky if you can pull it off half the times a baby decides to play.

     Baby Chicken is where you put the baby down for bed, and baby decides baby doesn't want to sleep.  You spend a rediculous amount of mental energy trying to guess if baby is about to fall asleep, or way past sleeping.

     For example:  You put baby down.  Baby is annoyed by your decision to put baby down.  Baby verbalizes this.  If your house is small, you know about it.  If your house is big, you have a baby monitor and you know about it. 

     You, as the wise and benevolent parent, glance at the clock.  Baby turns up the volume.  Your brain starts to race.  Has baby made a mess in their diaper?  That happened the other day, but then yesterday baby figured that out and made I-need-to-be-changed shrieks and fooled you (you lost that round, didn't you now?).  You stand there, telling yourself you will finish these dishes, and if baby is still upset, you will cave in and let baby win.  Your brain rattles through way too many things: is that chubby thigh stuck in the crib slats?  Did that favorite toy get chucked across the room?  On, and on, and on...

     One dish later, that kid curls up and goes to sleep.  Dang.  You won.  Finish the dishes and drop down in a chair, mentally wiped from Baby Chicken.  Makes you wish the little thing would just fall asleep in your arms, doesn't it?  But let's save that for the next round, shall we?

Disclaimer:  I haven't a heck of clue as to how
this would work with twins.  You can use your imagination on that one (I do.  It's rather entertaining)...

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